Funny quote #1

"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack."

- Demetri Martin

Funny quote #2

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

- Groucho Marx

Funny quote #3

"I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

- Bob Hope

Funny quote #4

"I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true."

- Katherine Hepburn

Funny quote #5

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

- George Bernard Shaw

 

Funny quote #6

"Most of the people I admire , they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true . Most of them are either dead or not feeling well ."

- Tom Waits

Funny quote #7

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

- Woody Allen

 

Funny quote #8

"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman."

- Maryon Pearson

Funny quote #9

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women."

- Marion Smith

Funny quote #10

"Take it from me, marriage isn't a word ... it's a sentence!"

- King Vidor